何とか，悲しみ


when you are feeling angry,
when you say something out of anger,
you simply think that things would be alright after your anger is gone,
after a while...
but have you ever thought about it,
that the person receiving your words of anger,
would actually feel hurt?
and they may not be okay to begin with,
and your words simply made things worse?
so, next time,
before you start getting pissed off,
before you start talking when you're angry,
before you start venting your anger on someone,
before you throw your temper without thinking,
grab a hold of yourself,
freeze,
and think through before you spout nonsense...

here's a story i'd like to share..
once, there was a baby born with hands that can kill with a single touch,
but this power can only work when the baby hates or wants to kill the person he is in contact with...
his mother found out about this when he killed his pet dog with this power,
while trying to protect his younger sister from being bitten by the dog...
after that incident,
his mother held him tightly and told him,
"you must never hate anyone"

this story is actually from a drama,
i summarised a bit of stuff..
but from this, i learned something...
no doubt, there is no such power, killing with a single touch,
but, i think that, from this,
i learned that i should never hate anyone,
firstly, hating is tiring, and is too big a burden,
but another thing is that,
when you hate, your simple, normal and innocent hands,
can become hands that commit crime,
be it hit or kill,
because of hate, these hands can become empowered with the negative emotions,
and do something that is wrong..
and become hands that kill,
just like in the story...
so dun hate, k?

okays, that's all for today..
JA~..

imperfections are the beauty in life

Zone Presentation Night 2009


It's finally over...
the ZPN that took us 6 months...
(although we really really worked on it prolly from oct onwards =X)
it has been a memorable experience,
and i learned a lot,
and i think, compared to during OTC,
i get to know ZoneX's 17/09s better..
thank you everyone for the hard work,
and thank you for the experience..
somehow, i'm feeling a lil sad that it's over so quickly..
haha..
hope to work with you all again..
esp xiao en!!! =DDDDDD
thanks so much!!!!!! =)

and, at the end of ZPN ytd,
after we finally finished packing everything in the hall etc,
down came a bomb that made me really feel like crying...
it's definitely my fault,
i failed the kids,
because i understand how much of a letdown it was,
to them,
i understand that feeling,
and i myself hated that feeling,
but in the end, i didn't manage to prevent them from undergoing those feeling..
they got pissed, they called me,
but i couldn't account to them properly at all,
i couldn;t say anything except sorry...
it just sucks,
when i couldn't do anything except apologise...
it made me feel like crying,
but,
i dun have a right to be crying,
and i think they would feel like crying more than me...
i am to be blamed,
for getting your hopes up,
and having the event now in uncertainty..
i dunno..
but i feel that, they might no longer trust me, my words, or actions..
i wonder what i should do now,
and it's not like i dun want the event,
i dunno..
i just feel like such a failure right now...
i, till now, still can't say any other thing other than sorry...
i hate myself...

imperfections are the beauty in life

S J A B


today, had a nice talk with xiao en!
and i said 1 sentence to her,
"17/09, we're the beginning of a new era of CHANGE. rmb the faith in yourself. rmb the strength in you"
sounds familiar?
this is what i interpreted from William Sir's character building sessions for us throughout the whole of OTC..
the road we are walking on is a never-ending...
whether to end or not, depends entirely on you yourself..
the road may be empty, meaningless, too tiring to you...
but instead of abandoning the road,
why not make changes to it and make it a trip that is enjoyable?
a trip worth walking?
we may complain all we want about what is not within our power...
but, changes, can start at the very very basic...
by changing bits and pieces of a puzzle, the picture that you get would become different...
this is what i stand by and what i believe in...
there are many things in this world that i can't place faith in,
there are also many things that i have yet to discover..
but i have made up my mind to walk this road till the end of my time...
and when i get tired, i'll just pause, turn around, and look at the scenary that i have walked past,
and remember the memories that i am creating right now,
and then get back on the continuous journey along this path...
you may want to ask me,
where did i get my strength from?
why am i talking about staying on forever when i'm only 17?
are you just talking cox you are still young?
you sure you can continue?
you think you can last?
i wonder too...
maybe as many told me
"this year just pass out, it's like that de, everything also do"
etc....
that may be true,
but, i will strive to prove all these people wrong,
and simply do what i love best,
continuing on my never-ending road of SJAB...
simply because i stayed,
not because of others, not because of CCA points, not because of peer influence,
it's simply because of love for St John Ambulance Brigade itself,
because i like SJ,
because i love SJ,
because i like doing things in SJ,
because of the sense of pride in SJ,
because of how SJ can control my emotions,
because of how SJ can make me cry so easily,
because of how SJ has simply became something that's intra-veneous in me...
SJ, is just like the blood in my body..
it's just simply, SJ...
this road never ends,
till the end of my time...
I love SJ...
Do you?
=)

imperfections are the beauty in life

sunday, 29th November 2009


overslept and only managed to reach HQ at 7.30..
though it's still earlier than others, but i aimed to reach at 7 de..
hahas..
saw Kalai on the way to HQ,
talked to her a bit about the dance and also about taking over next year,
and also about '08,
hope she understands what i mean.. hahas..
and then,
when i reached HQ,
nobody was in the hall,
and even more best,
the tables weren't laid out..
then the kids who were going to PD reached HQ,
so disturbed them for a bit,
before i went back to hall at close to 8am..
nobody there lor.. haha~ =P
then mama teng came,
then after rotting for a while,
people started coming,
then teddy bear sir came for his debut counting day experience.. LOL!
noob =P
then around 8+, we were thinking maybe we should 先下手为强
if not later no tables..
so we started getting tables to set up for zone 10..
then everyone copied us..
haha~
and i heard some seniors or officers screaming at their cadets
"you waiting for me yo carry for you is it?"
=.=
i dun like this kinda seniors..
in the first place, you yourself didn't even take the initiative to go get the tables,
or give instructions for them to do so,
so i dun think you have the right to scream at them like that,
because you, supposedly, should know better..
and when you yourself wait for people to initiate something,
i dun think you should be screaming away at your cadets or juniors like that...
heard that?
then we had counting day,
and '07s are seriously damn cute~
HAHHAHAH~
and stupid mushroom keep laughing laughing laughing..
haha~
no la, not stupid la..
LOLs..
and they got so excited over the one and only $50 note..
hahas..
and in the end they ended up so tired..
thanks kids! hope you had fun! hahas =P
esp with shaker fries right?
ROFL~~~~
and ZC is welfare de..
we're prolly the only zone who got something to eat as a whole..
thanks mdm! =)

then went home to bathe then went to tiong to meet mama teng and pris they all
to go to miss tay's celebration~ ^u^
in the end we were uper late..
LOLs~~~~
but really had fun,
talking crap,
zebra 线，
there is 没有板，
斑马line,
LOL xD
and,
playing with derrick sir's daughter!
apple is nice right? xDDDDD
and melting the chocolate,
settling the candles for the chocolate fondue,
playing poker..
King.Queen.Prostitute.Asshole.
HAHA~
and Mahjong!
someone "innocently" said
"我是按mouse的"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~ xDDDDDDDD
and wanteng and priscilla were filming 床戏while we were playing mahjong!
hahas =P
and somehow i became 郑老师's actual..
ROFL..
and wanteng became Justin Chong instead of Aiden Chong last night..
hahas~ xD
in the end went home earlier cox i would've been killed if i reach home late..
too bad..
if not can play somemore..
haha~
thanks so much for inviting me 郑老师
hee hee~
had fun...
enjoy loads k? xD

okays,
now i shall go send emails.. ^u^
ZPN is this saturday..
LET'S GO! xD
JA~

imperfections are the beauty in life

H A P P I N E S S


these few days,
a few people told me something interesting,
that is,
i am someone who is easily contented...
that something very minor can make me happy,
or even very happy..
this made me realise something,
which is, to me,
happiness is something that is very simple,
happiness is just there,
it's just whether we identify it as a form of happiness,
whether we think it is happiness,
whether we treat it as happiness...
simple, what do i mean?
basically things like finding the pencil case that i thought i lost,
getting to buy something that i wanted,
getting to eat mummy's fried rice or yong tau foo,
getting to go to yeye's house and meet up with li hui they all,
getting to talk crap with Jie,
getting to pinch ah dan on his cheeks when he's cheeky,
completing my assignments ahead of time,
doing SJ stuff...
and many many more...
these things are so minor,
but these are things that makes me happy,
which means they are happiness...
you see,
happiness is not something that we need to try very hard for..
happiness is something that we appreciate in life..
simple stuff like that is happiness too,
and happiness in it's purest form...
cox it is just simply, something that makes you happy..
what else can happiness be, right?
that's what i think,
and when everything is supposed to be complicated,
having happiness that is simple is something that i appreciate..
and this, in itself, is my happiness..

so, what is your happiness? =)

imperfections are the beauty in life

F L A G D A Y


was kinda late for flag day..
sorry.. ><
it was rather chaotic today,
morning with chipmunk stressed out and mini explosion,
then to missing stuffs...
roaming without sir lee around is a lil tiring..
hahas..
but, we made it..
and thanks loads to mama teng! for the meal~
sorry we ate so much.. =X
overall, i think we didn't do that badly for flag day,
just that cox sir lee's not around,
we only did town area,
and with the limited time,
hmmmms,
but let's cross our fingers that we can get $10K~
GO GESSians!!!! xDDDDDDDDD
thanks loads to everyone who participated in this flag day,
otsukaresama deshita!(a job well done!)
rest well,
drink more water,
miss xiao lin stop eating eggs and chickens and heaty stuff,
sleep earlier tonight..
take cares! =D

imperfections are the beauty in life

L O S T


I freaking lost my beloved 4 years old pencil case...
with all my stationeries inside,
i think i lost it on saturday,
and i stupidly only realise now..
=.=
god damn it~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am freaking moody right now...
and i am freaking pissed with myself..
DAMN IT~
ARGH~

imperfections are the beauty in life

Poh Ting Xin 傅亭欣
160592
`pohpoh` =P
mushroom
90% guy
Gan Eng Seng School
Ngee Ann Polytechnic.SoE
SJAB
1E'05.2E'06.3G'07.4G'08
1L02'09
ANCO'09 safety!
OTC'09, ALPHA! =D



☆ 6th June:OTC Briefing day
☆ 7th June:Zone FAC 2009
☆ 12th-15th June:OTC camp
☆ 18th-21st June:ANCO camp 2009
☆ -28th June:OTC Day Course 1
☆ 5th July:OTC Day Course 2
☆ 19th July:OTC Day Course 3
☆ 26th July:OTC Examination Day
☆ 7th August:MDE Dance Performance
☆ 8th August:LSCMSS Full Comm Meeting
☆ 5th September:OTC POP Rehearsal
☆ 12th September:OTC POP
☆ 14th November:Brigade Banquet
☆ 5th December:Zone 10 ZPN



☆ 山下智久

☆ 錦戸亮

☆ 亀梨和也

☆ 二宮和也

☆ 水嶋 ヒロ

☆ 佐藤健

☆ 森本龍太郎

☆ 森本慎太郎

☆ 藪宏太

☆ 知念侑李

☆ 山田涼介

☆ 山下翔央

☆ 김현중




☆ Family
☆ 友達=D
☆ 1L02'09! =D
☆ OTC'09!
☆ ALPHA'09!
☆ Listening to music
☆ Kim Hyun Joong!!!
☆ YAMAPI!XD
☆ Ryo-Chan!XD
☆ SS501
☆ NEWS
☆ KAT-TUN
☆ DBSK
☆ Babies!!!!!!!!
☆ Jap Dramas
☆ Baby Pooh
☆ Rilakkuma! XD
☆ Domokun! XD
☆ Red.Black.White.Brown
☆ Orange.Grey.Blue
☆ milk tea!
☆ DARK chocolate
☆ hazelnuts
☆ sneakers
☆ Smiles~
☆ SubWay.Eat Fresh =P
☆ Nintama Rantaro!
☆ Peach Tea
☆ Green Tea
☆ Blueberry Tea
☆ Peppermint drinks=D
☆ Meiji Strawberry Milk!



☆ fights
☆ quarrels
☆ arguments
☆ heights
☆ going out on a rainy day
☆ bright pink(scary!)
☆ vegetables
☆ myself crying
☆ spammers
☆ myself PMS-ing



☆ Tomodachi~ =D
☆ Everyone to be Happy+Healthy
☆ Yamapi+Chang Min XD
☆ -My own laptop
☆ To go to JAPAN & KOREA~
☆ To go to Hawaii's beach
☆ To attend a NEWS concert!!
☆ To attend a KAT-TUN concert!!
☆ To attend a TVXQ concert!!
☆ TWILIGHT series
☆ Newbie T-shirts
☆ -A new HP pouch
☆ -A new wallet
☆ -A new pencil case
☆ Fila T-shirts
☆ Konyaku^^
☆ To play with KYRIE again^^
☆ A new pair of specs
☆ -To learn how to cut songs
☆ An Ipod
☆ A red slingbag
☆ A nice cap
☆ A new pair of slippers
☆ New WHITE ankle socks!!
☆ To eat baked rice at delifrance again
☆ To improve my Japanese
☆ To complete watching Harry Potter Series
☆ PONYO PONYO PONYO!!! XD
☆ To buy the baby pooh thermal flask!
☆ To go disneyland!! XD
☆ To try having long hair
☆ -To go OTC
☆ To be an instructor in OTC
☆ To be a PC in ANCO
☆ winnie the MY pooh bear!
☆ dale dale dale!
☆ watch sunrise by the beach
☆ watch sunset by the beach
☆ pooh bear socks! XD
☆ to see everyone's egao~ =)
☆ Ponyo stuff toy!
☆ Rilakkuma~ XD
☆ -Domokun stuff toy! XDThanks 1L02!! =D
☆ Red Wine with 1992 Vintage =)
☆ Laugh-a-lot bear
☆ Funshine bear
☆ All 3 of Ayaka's albums!
☆ New Sneakers
☆ Red HP earphones
☆ Unlimited sms
☆ BOF DVD
☆ BOF OSTs
☆ Go to SS501's concert!!! xD
☆ Learn how to play guitar!!
☆ SS501's REBIRTH album!
☆ SS501's Vol. 1-S.T NOW album!
☆ HyunJoong's Doraemon Hoodie!!!!
☆ ZPN '09 to be a success!